Pansies in tights?! I think not...

Girls night was fun. We played Mad Gab and then watched a movie. Not just any movie, I finally got them to watch Center Stage! Now if I could only get the guys to watch it too...

Turns out Memoirs of a Geisha isn't going to be shown in theatres here. Grrr...

I went to the gym today, and got myself measured. I lost inches, and my fat percentage went down, whooo take yer shirt off!

Cadence had a Christmas concert at St. Pius, and I went. Many of my friends went too, including Mary, who I've been running into a lot lately! He was there too. As soon as I saw him, my heart both leaped for joy, and strained in anxiety. I had no idea what would happen if I talked to him... But after calming myself down, I went up to him and said hello. It was as though the October phone call had never happened, because neither of us was awkward. That was a relief for me. Later, after the concert, I was chatting with some friends and Andrew mentionned that he's not into ballet. Then he referred to male dancers as "pansies in tights"! Well, I gave him hell for the rest of the evening over that comment! Most of the guys I know think the same as he does. Pansies in tights... You call this a pansy?! I call it a man! And a gorgeous one at that... Check out the picture gallery, and try to tell me that Roberto Bolle is a pansy! I've already said it before - REAL MEN DANCE!

Anyway, after leaving St. Pius, Sara, Maureen, and I went for pizza, then went to the Olde Dublin to hang out. A bunch of others came along, including him. By that point, I wasn't feeling any more anxiety about the situation. Though I did long to get closer. Some things about him haven't changed at all - his beautiful eyes, so vibrant and filled with the Holy Spirit... And when he gives that cute smile with those adorable dimples, I can't help but smile too. We did have a few fun flirty moments - I was still roaring "REAL MEN DANCE" and Andrew said "not in tights!" He agreed. Then Tasha and I burned them big-time by saying things like "Men who are confident about their masculinity won't have a problem wearing tights and dancing" and I said "You're just jealous because you don't have the legs for it!" Then, he said "you've never seen these legs, baby!" while making suggestive gestures. I was extremely surprised, because I didn't think he was the type to make such bold comments... Later, a few of us were demonstrating our winks, and since I apparently have a good one, everyone wanted me to demonstrate. So I gave him a wink or two... I don't know, I guess flirting is easier after a glass of beer... Well, that was a fun night! Good times...

Last night, there was the Christmas pageant at St. Dunstan's. The little kids were so cute! Especially the pre-school kids doing their little warm-up and singing "I've got Jesus in my soul!" The guy singing the Hail Mary song was awesome. Later, my friends and I went to East Side's for supper, and Chris Sherren came along. He's in town for the holidays too. I think the waiter at East Side's was trying to flirt with me...

Anyway, the holiday blues are leaving me, and I finally feel happier...

Holiday blues...

The staff Christmas party was last night and it was ok. A few of us went to Angie's for a pre-party, and Angie got so drunk that it must have been one heck of a hangover she had today. Thank goodness today was her day off... Carissa mooned a car full of guys from work. Jerome won several prizes in the draws. The food was good, especially the cheesecake we had for dessert. I love the chocolate syrup we used on the cake...

Tonight, I sang at Mass at the Chaplaincy centre and it went well. Tim Chaisson was there too and played a slow fiddle song for mediatation. He's an amazing musician, I don't know what the Canadian Idol people were thinking when they rejected him... After Mass, Kim and Jason had another Dr. Mario tournament, then a bunch of us went for nachos at East Side's. Maureen is home for the holidays and it was great to see her. Next weekend, Sara-Sour is having a girls night at her place and it's going to rock.

And I've already said before that he's coming home for the holidays. Tasha told me he's arriving on Wednesday. I don't know how I feel - I can't wait to see him again, yet I'm also nervous about things possibly being awkward. Mix of happiness and anxiety, I guess kinda like stage fright... Except I don't get stage fright that often. Plus, I'd love to talk to him and hang out like we did before, but I don't know if I should contact him because I'm afraid he might think I'm trying to stalk him since he knows about my feelings. Argh... Friends, please pray for me, I've been having a hard time with this whole situation lately...

I don't know what's wrong with me, lately I tend to get snippy at the oddest things, and sometimes get anxious about nothing in particular, and other times I get so bored that nothing makes me happy. The love dilemma might contribute to it, but I think maybe it's also in part because I feel I need to make changes in my life. My job is ok, but I get sick of it sometimes. I long to travel again, but at this moment I have neither the time nor the money for it. I'm bored of the scene on PEI, but I don't feel ready to move away yet. I have no luck in romance, and it makes me feel I'm not worth my high standards. I miss UPEI, but I know I must move on - it's like an old shoe, it has sentimental value and tells all sorts of great stories, but it doesn't fit anymore and I need to get used to something new. I want a career in the performing arts, but I'm not getting luck with that lately either. Grrr... why can't the world just end now so we can all go to Heaven and be happy?

Christmas is supposed to be a happy time, but I've been getting the blues lately...

Dance progress, Culturama follies, love songs, and showbiz...

Holy frig, that was an intense tap dance class I had tonight... And the new tap shoes are way better than the old ones. Last Saturday I also took another Latin jazz class, and that was intense too. I love my thigh-high legwarmers - I wore them in ballet class and they show off my long legs very nicely. I nailed a few double turns in jazz this week, and can hold my arabesque up longer in modern. Julia once again said that in her next life she wants to be tall like me with long arms and legs like mine. She's like "In my next life, I want to be tall like Amelie with long legs like hers. I already put my order in for my next life" and "I want to be 5'10", and I don't understand why she would want to be 5'10". I'm 5'8" and I wish I were shorter. Anyway, next week, it's open house week - we're allowed to bring in friends/family to watch the classes. If anyone wants to come see my dance classes, talk to me and I'll give you more info.

I went to Culturama on Friday night and it was fun. The performances were great, the food was yummy (LOVE those perogies!), and the dance was fun. There was a group from Cuba who are here with Canada World Youth and they were latin-dancing all night. I danced with one of them, and I LOVE salsa. Most of the music was latin and reggae, and they played David Bisbal! Yay! Except it was some reggae version of Como Olvidar, and I much prefer the original. George Marshall was there, and so was Dreamboat. Turns out Dreamboat is one of George's good friends. I told George about the fling I had with Dreamboat and how he rejected me horribly after his ex took him back (apparently they aren't together anymore) and George offered to kick his ass. He also offered to make fun of him. God luv ya George... Mary MacGillivray was also there, I haven't seen her since summer! I saw a bunch of other people I know too.

He's going to be in town for the holidays, but I don't know when he's coming. I do want to see him. Maybe we can talk. I just hope it won't be awkward... I still do have feelings for him, I don't think it's something I can get over quickly.

*sings*

Think of me
Think of me fondly when we've said goodbye
Remember me once in a while, please promise me you'll try.

When you find that once again you long to take your heart back and be free
If you ever find a moment spare a thought for me...

We never said our love was evergreen
Or as unchanging as the sea.
But if you can still remember
Stop and think of me.
Think of August when the trees were green,
Don't think about the way things might have been.

Think of me,
Think of me waking, silent and resigned.
Imagine me
Trying too hard to put you from my mind.
Recall those days, look back on all those times,
Think of the things we'll never do.
There will never be a day when I won't think of you!

Flowers fade, The fruits of summer fade,
They have their seasons so do we.
But please promise me that sometimes
You will think...
*Opera singing*
Of me!


Yes, I'm a Phantom of the Opera nut. I love that musical... It's been my dream since I was a kid to play Christine...

I have an audition coming up! I'm auditioning for The Tempest - a Shakespeare play. Shakespeare rocks.

Anyway, that's all for now...